Tang Juan is turning me into a Chinese girl. I'm wearing the sparkling headbands, the shiny earrings, the very distinctive Chinese coat...hell, I'm even considering the uncomfortable boots... well, sort of. They look very painful.
But I'm not Chinese. I'm still so American in almost everything I do, how I act, teach, eat, dance...everything about be screams that I don't belong here. A few days ago Oscar told me that I should go back to America where I can relate to people...but can I? I still feel the urge to stay here, where I know my place in this world, where I am safe. Why go back to a place where all my friends have moved on, where I have bad memories, where everything is way too expensive? But then again, can I stay in a place where very few people honestly understand me? Then again, who can truly understand someone else?
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America needs you...no one has moved on with their lives without you. Silly ex-pat.
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